One Last Drop #1
A new series where I try and make old stuff new.
While I am biologically male, I once lost a 400 page Moleskine, which means I know a little bit about the pains of childbirth. Really, though, I’ve struggled through loss. Loss of money. Loss of ideas. Loss of ideas that could have made me money. It’s an agony that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
Well I say no more! In what I hope is the beginning of a hit new series, I will be scouring old comedy journals in search of forgotten ideas. Diamonds that never made it out of the rough. Pearls trapped in clams. Primetime dick jokes that never left the easel.
Once found, I’ll take these ideas to maturity, hopefully turning them into:
Full-fledged stand-up bits
Sketch scripts
Insta/Tik Tok reels
Or something else…!
The meat-and-cheese of it all will be to prove that even the most half-baked idea is worth revisiting, refining, and finishing.
Another thing I really want to show you guys is the actual messy process of improvements. Too often I think we only want to show people the finished product, and none of the messy iterations in-between. Do I think that there is anything especially interesting about the way I do this? No, but I recently read a very good article1 about the power in “showing your work”, and I’m riding this wave of inspiration all the way to the shore.
Ideally this can be a mutually-beneficial venture. You get an inside look into the mind of a rising comedic talent, while I have a little more pressure to produce more output2. Plus, I think that it will be interesting to hear what you all think about what I choose to keep and discard. Honestly, the hardest choices are usually around what to jettison, rather than what to produce.
Ok, enough pre-amble. Why don’t I give a little demo?
Source Material
Transcription
Growing up off of 14887
Don’t Tread on Me = Wet Floor Sign
My dad’s a DJ, that’s why I’m mixed
had a stutter, would take me on tour
I can’t undress you with my eye, because I’m nearsighted
I have to get so close I may as well use my hands
Linus from Peanuts with a wet floor sign → wet blanket
Don’t be such a wet floor sign...
Picking up messes that I didn’t choose to make
But sometimes, you just can’t help it.
Is it really my fault if the blanket I brought is wet?
I’m a reformed wet blanket. I used to rain on parades.
“Something about moisture is always deflating (underwhelming). Or dampens the mood.”
But! Then when someone is boring, we call them “dry.”
But if an idea is good it (holds water).
But if someone pays attention too much we say they’re retentive (anally).
Scale:
Boring → Dry
Lame → Damp
Bummer → Wet Blanket
“I bought a wet security blanket too (in case I got excited).”
Moist → Damp → Muggy → Wet (Blanket)
Initial Thoughts
So I actually happen to know that the line about “being mixed because my dad’s a DJ” works in some places. It’s cute, but honestly not anything to write home about. I have a lot of stuff about my dad already, and this is a tag at best.
Potentially I could make a reel where I’m literally acting like a remix, stuttering and skipping over my words…hmmm, actually that is kind of funny
Me, a mixed kid: Awww shucks, I can’t speak Spanish and can’t dance!
Me, a re-mixed kid: Wuh-wuh-wuh-when is Dad coming home? (“Feel For You” by Chaka Khan playing in the background)
Undressing someone with your eyes is typical “creep behavior”, but it can also be hot if you’re that person’s partner
I’m imagining two old people trying to flirt, but one of them has horrible vision so they have to get closer and closer to fully “undress them”. Cute reel/Far Side comic idea. Could also be…kinda Eldritch!
Two old people are staring at each other, getting closer and closer with each frame
One old person drops punchline about needing to get closer because they’re near-sighted. Zoom in on their eyeballs, and behind thick frames we see wrinkly, grasping hands.
There is a lot here about wet blankets. I recently wrote a one-liner that went like: “I bought a wet security blanket in case I have too much fun”. HAHAHA hilarious, right?
I do like a “Don’t Tread on Me” Wet Floor Sign…hmmm
The rest of this is just cogitation about dampness.
The Winner Is….
Format
Reel
Caption
“When you’re a white-sounding Afrolatino with a DJ for a dad”
Script
(like a record scratching)
“B-b-buenos dias my n-n-words!”
Background Music
Chaka Khan I Feel For You Instrumental
And finally, the finished product!
God only knows where I’d be without the ever-present specter of disappointment hanging over my head.